TOXIC THOUGHTS

Si pentru ca v-am anuntat deja ca azi o sa fiu a dracu’, am circumstante atenuante pentru ceea ce urmeaza. (Si nu, nu-mi pare rau, imi face chiar o placere deosebita.)

Asta e pentru toti cei care cred ca-mi pot spune ‘prietena’ (vezi link, asshole), doar pentru simplul fapt ca mai schimbam o vorba din cand in cand, pe net sau in urma unei intalniri accidentale pe strada. Bine mai zicea Nico, cum ca s-a saturat sa traiasa relatiile altora.

Asa ca, dragilor, luati aminte:

Fuck off, I have enough friends!

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Vorbind cu nebuna, pardon, Ana pe messenger si rasfoind blogul lu’ domnu’, am dat peste un articol care mi-a oferit un sinistru sentiment de deja-vu. (Damn woman, 3 trimiteri intr-o singura fraza.) Mi-am amintit ca in ziua in care a avut loc inmormantarea lui Florian Pittis eram la munte, cu mama. Seara, while channel surfing, am dat peste un post de genu’ OTV sau Antena 3, unde era o editie speciala a unei emisiuni de tot cacatul si tema serii era ‘S-a mai stins o stea’, sau ceva in genul asta. Si cum s-au gandit ei sa aduca un omagiu stelei stinse? Filmand si dand pe post toata inmormantarea, cu comentarii picante ale unei reporterite analfabete pe fundal. “Acum masina se indreapta catre cimitir.”; “Masina a ajuns la poarta cimitirului.”; “Oamenii plang.”

Cu alte cuvinte, au reusit sa faca dintr-un moment atat de trist pentru o tara intreaga, un circ de prost gust cu scop de ratting. Am fost scarbita pana-n maduva oaselor. Au incercat idiotii sa le ia interviu celor din Pasarea Colibri, insa singurele comentarii pe care le-au scos de la ei au fost “E un moment mult prea trist, cuvintele sunt de prisos.”, de bun simt, as zice eu. Pe TVR s-a facut un fel de remember cu imagini din arhiva Televiziunii Nationale, totul finalizandu-se cu un “…iar acum, stiri din sport. Chivu a declarat ca… etc”.

Probabil ca numai in Romania poate exista atata prostie, impinsa catre cretinizare in masa. Dar deh, romanul s-a nascut poet si sensibil, de ce sa nu-l atingem la sentiment cu inmormantari live (apropo, de cand naiba e atat de “cool” sa filmezi la inmormantari?) si comentarii de cacat?

Si ca sa mai uit de scarba ce mi-a (re)starnit-o mass-media din rRomania noastra, m-am “jucat” putin cu o poza de-a Anei (nu mai pun iarasi trimitere ca deja e penibil).

Aseara, intr-un plin gest eroic, m-am hotarat din nu-mai-stiu-exact-ce motiv sa ma las de fumat. Asa ca am fumat ultimele tigari din ultimul pachet din dotare, mi-am mai facut niste nervi cu jocul meu, am mai conversat pe mess si m-am culcat.

M-am trezit dimineata cu o durere de cap criminala si un fundal sonor inconfundabil. (Doresc cu aceasta ocazie sa-i urez vecinului de deasupra sanatate, virtute si-un bonus de ciuma bubonica.) Am mai stat 5 minute in pat sa-mi dezmortesc oasele, apoi m-am ridicat cu elan muncitoresc si m-am impiedicat de papucii de casa lasati strategic langa noptiera. Am bolborosit niste “mniezăi” si m-am dus sa-mi fac cafea. Evident, am dat-o in foc. Ma intorc in dormitor, ma instalez la laptop, sorb o gura de cafea, ma frig, mai bolborosesc niste “mniezăi” si iau pachetul sa-mi scot o tigara. And then it hit me: aseara, intr-un scurt moment de pierdere a uzului ratiunii, m-am hotarat sa ma las de fumat. Scotocesc in scrumiera dupa niste chistoace lasate mai lungi, insa toate erau fumate pana la filtru, ca deh, erau “ultimele tigari din viata mea”.

Asadar si prin urmare, am fost sa-mi cumpar tigari, iar acum imi continui cafeaua. Doresc sa-i informez pe cei care au astazi glume proaste in program ca sunt antisociala si inentionez sa ramas asa pana la sfarsitul zilei.

Later edit:

Mama: lasa, ne lasam amndoua cand vii acasa
Mama: sa muscam impreuna
Eu: oh da, va fi mirobolant
Mama: nu?
Eu: oh ba da
Mama: si eu am aprins ultima tigara din pachet
Mama: si nu am altul
Eu: hahaha
Eu: :))
Eu: vai, da’ nu-ti pot explica ce draci m-au luat dimineata cand mi-am amintit ca nu mai am tigari
Mama: cred
Eu: si retardatu’ asta de sus asculta de dimineata nu stiu ce naiba, N&D sau ceva…
Mama: =))
Eu: iarna era cum mai era, ca stateam amandoi cu geamul inchis, se auzea numai ce trecea prin pereti … dar de cand toata lumea sta cu geamurile deschise, rasuna aici in spatele blocului cand pune asta muzica … ptiu, intr-o zi ma duc si-i torn benzina pe usa si-i dau foc
Mama: nu mama, ca te ia politia
Eu: pentru vandalism, nu ?
Mama: da
Eu: sincer, cred ca merita sa stau 3 nopti la zdup, numai sa-i vad moaca lu’ ala cand observa ca i-a luat foc usa …
Eu: da’ la cat ii de prost, ar fi in stare sa aduca gratarul sa faca mici acolo
Mama: :))

Pentru ca Fabian mi-a impuiat lately capul cu un site cu si despre misogini, m-am hotarat in cele din urma sa intru sa citesc si eu (ce-i drept, pe diagonala) ce zice nenea ala. Si culmea, nu zice rau. Asa ca mi-am permis sa ‘fur’ din vorbele sale de duh, sa le adaptez si sa mi le si insusesc. Asadar:

“I like my coffee like I like my men: cheap and brought to me by another man.”

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Astazi Bob s-a sinucis, murind ca un erou, innecat in cana mea de cafea. ( le-ar da clasa lui Bin Laden si-ai lui confrati, cu kamikazele lui )

L-am plans, l-am jelit, iar acum va anunt ca funerariile vor avea loc peste 5 minute, la mine in bucatarie. Toata lumea e invitata, there is free coffee & cigarettes.  ( aye, si multa lumina, cum ii placea lui, odihni-i-s-ar sufletul de creatura blanda )

Bob, iti voi simti lipsa, amice.

Pe aceasta cale, doresc sa multumesc tuturor celor care au inteles si nu au judecat relatia dintre mine si Bob, care desi a fost una scurta, mi-a umplut sufletul de bucurie si lumina. (  la propriu, lumina)

Pe aceeasi cale, anunt populatia flutureasca a Romaniei ca primesc fluture in gazda. Ofer companie placuta si glume proaste. Asa ca ( ca sa-l citez pe Pav ) : Come, come gentle bombs!